History of the Flying Pig Empire

History of the Flying Pig Empire

Scientist by nature, the race of pigs inhabiting the planet Dreastanous (now known as "Terras Relic") shaped their culture around the quest for knowledge. They were a proud race, and their arrogance showed in what little religion they had. The only religion the pigs had was loosely based on the legend of the first pig to ever ask about the workings of the universe, when the ghostly form of the Universal Consciousness came to him and told him to shut up. But the pig persisted in asking, saying he had a right to know "why","how", and "what was the nature of things". From this legend, one might think that not only do the pigs search for answers to satisfy their curiosity, but also to spite the universe.

Although their culture was united in the name of science, there were still political disputes. the two main political groups battling for power were the Idealist Assemblage, and the Military Officials. Neither party ever really gaining advantage over the other, until the Idealist Assemblage organized the planet’s first space launch. The whole thing was made into one giant media event. All over the planet, pigs were celebrating, but everyone became silent when the rocket took off. They watched on their televisions as the rocket breached the atmosphere and the shuttle separated. The entire civilization simultaneously cheered as the shuttle transmitted the message that they had reached orbit. Then, seconds after the monumental moment, the entire planet watched in horror as an unknown object came into view of the shuttle and.....obliterated it. The blast could be seen in the air, and hours later the charred remains of the first Flying Pig Astronaut impacted on main street in front of the children’s home.

The entire planet was in an uproar, politicians panicked, citizens rioted the Idealist Assemblage Center of operations, and the Military Officials took this opportunity to seize control. Under their rule, the entire race had turned fearfully paranoid of those they did not control.

The next shuttle launch went much more smoothly with 67 warships escorting the science shuttle.

For centuries, the Pigs had made great leaps in space travel technology, including one-way warp portals and the incredibly versatile energy source known as Illogical Logic (the force that bends the odds makes things work, simply because they shouldn’t); One of the most used phrases by scientists, after the discovery of Illogical Logic, is "The Laws of Physics were meant to be broken".

During this time, the Flying Pig Empire has reached every corner of the galaxy in what was later dubbed "The First Expansion" (I know that galaxies are round and don’t have corners, I’m not an idiot). The Flying Pig Empire set about to govern the many races of the galaxy and succeeded (if I forgot to mention earlier, the Flying Pig Galaxy is a different one than the Milky Way galaxy). The different planets had their own government, but still had to adhere to the Flying Pig Empire. In return, the many races under the rule of the Flying Pigs would receive abundant technology and any other help their government might ask for. Toward each other, the relationships between the different governments of the different planets were capitalistic in nature, but all paid their dues to the Empire without question. In an act of good nature to it’s subsidiary governments, and to silence the whining over-zealous liberals demanding a police force of their own (as if the Flying Pig military were not enough) the Flying Pig Empire established a citizen owned and operated police force among the territories of consenting governments. This force was named the Citizens Defense.

On a day that seemed normal enough at the time, but would be recorded in history books and celebrated as an intergalactic holiday, Arturo Svienenkoff was born. Fourteen years later, A group of religious fanatics who called themselves the Dark Sun Legion rebelled against the Flying Pig Empire in a seemingly insignificant war that would turn out to last ninety-seven years and cause the death of quadrillions of Imperial citizens. The Dark Sun Legion was started Centuries ago by a sun of black plasma that gained sentience through years of being brarraided by the psychic energies of a race of sun worshipers who thought they were merely praying. After gaining self awareness and it’s own psychic powers, the sun realized what happened and spoke to his "followers". The sun realized that to remain sentient, it needed the psychic output of the nieve race of stick figure like creatures and transported their planet inside the sun in a hollow space it provided with it’s psychic energies. The sun kept them there an tricked them into thinking it was a god and gained their "prayer energies" on a daily basis. When the Flying Pig Empire reached this star system, they weren’t yet technologically advanced to find the planet hidden by the sun. Being around for millennia, the sun used it’s near infinite patients to wait and watch the growing empire. Having been worshipped as a god for centuries, the sun grew arrogant and detestfull of the Flying Pig Empire for "daring to trespass in it’s realm". The sun waited, preparing it’s followers for war and forming "flare clusters" to carry it’s army. With the power of a psychic sun and blind faith, the Dark Sun Legion made it’s presence known by taking over a sizable share of the galaxy in only a month.

The Empire was devastated, and finally ready to admit they needed help. Thirty years into the war the help the Empire needed came in the form of a neighboring galaxy that was all but uninhabited save for a race known as the Amazonian Chicken Republic. They provided the extra soldiers and resources needed in the war. The Flying Pig Empire immediately set up colonies for mining and enlistment/training of the chicken worriors. Also, the Royal Family of the Amazonian Chicken Republic was brought to Drestanous for the signing of the alliance treaty between the Empire and the Republic. Unfortunately, that day and event were destined for devastation.

The Dark Sun Legion had somehow made their way past all the security precausions and attacked the planet where the treaty was being signed. Every Flying Pig officer ranking "General" and above, along with every member of the Amazonian Chicken Royal family, were killed, except for Princess Tenda_ and General Svienenkoff who had saved her. They both had been thrust into the roles of leaders of their own respective governments. In an odd gesture, General Svienenkoff had all rankings above general, retired. It could have been a sign of respect for those who died, or perhaps Svienenkoff did not feel that he should be promoted for simply surviving, he has never said exactly why. Princess Tenda_ and General Svienenkoff signed the treaty and together, the two governments were able to end the threat of the Dark Sun Legion, banishing the Dark Sun into a rip in space time, and incarcerating all of the Legionnaires.

After the war, the "Great Expansion" was finished and the Empire had spread its influence and rule across the entire Galaxy. After a brief pause-approximately 10 years-while more scientific discoveries were made, including the "Rejuvenator" a device that rebuilds the patient_s body on a molecular level and keeps the patient forever young and free of injury and disease, the beginning of the "Second Great Expansion" had begun. Over the course of 400 years, the Flying Pig Empire began to aquire new planets and systems from neighboring galaxies using the new "Cyber-Virus" (a.k.a. the planet virus) to give the planets and suns the abiliy to propel themselves into the Flying Pig galaxy and settle themselves in. The galaxy continued to grow until it had become it_s own galaxy cluster.

Then, on an expedition to a new galaxy cluster to find new planets and systems, a small squad of space ships patrolling one of the boarder systems met up with a Bacon ship convoy from the Flying Pig expedition. The sight of the ships, their designs, their crests, awakened a memory of every Flying Pig officer who had taken basic history in school or had been told of the science-hating monsters from above by their grandparents. Those ships were the same ships that slaughtered the first Dreastanian space mission.

The Bacon ships immediately opened fire.

And so, the war between the Flying Pig Empire and the Aermanian Empire had begun. The War waged on for years as the Flying Pig Empire invaded an attempted to eradicate the Aermanian Empire.

pocketverse created

The War with the Aermanians continued and during the war, many new sciences explored by the Dreastanauts (Flying Pigs) and many technological leaps had been made. One in particular, where Flying Pig Scientists became able to create pocket universes hanging outside our own, was used in defensive procedures where labs for dangerous experiments were built, and in an emergency, the General_s ship would drop into it_s own pocketverse where it would be safe from attacks.

While the war between the Aermanians and the Flying Pig Empire continued to escalate, relations between the Aermanian Empire and the neighboring government, The Galactic Republic, grew tense. Unknown to the Aermanian government, The Galactic Republic and the Flying Pig Empire began peace-talks. Eventually, agreements were reached and the Euclidean Pact was made, promising no more conflict between the Galactic Republic and the Flying Pig Empire. The Republic assumed that the Aermanians would fear risking war with both the Flying Pig Empire and The Galactic Republic, and that they would have to give in to the established peace; But, in a surprising and bold move by the Aermanians, the peace was refused. The Galactic Republic eventually sided with it_s age old ally, but sustained positive diplomatic relations with the Flying Pigs.

After the failure of the Euclidean Pact, the Flying Pigs still suggested a cease-fire, to which the Aermanian Empire agreed. Not long after, the Hypocritical Trees, a renegade batch of trees infected with the planet virus, migrated from the Flying Pig galaxy into a relatively uninhabited smaller galaxy. In a matter of months, the Trees had overrun the galaxy by covering every planet one by one and hoarding all the resources for themselves, leaving the other species to starve and die. Eventually, due to outdated programming in the virus, the Trees began attacking the Aermanian Empire. The Flying Pig Empire was too busy solving the political crisis of the "Technological Throwback" to help.

In the Flying Pig Empire, more and more disasters originating from the unstable energy source, Illogical Logic, caused all technology making use of, or resulting in illogical logic, to be recalled. Many Groups, including the Second Idealist Assemblege, began protests. Eventually some of the Protests turned violent. In the largest of the terrorist attacks, a group who called themselves "The Voices of the Future" attempted to use a customized Pocketverse device to plunge the entire galaxy into a pocketverse and hold it hostige. the device malfunctioned due to the emence amounts of Illogical Logic needed to power the customized parts, and the galaxy was cut off from the universe and set adrift outside space time to drop into another alternate universe. In its place, a copy of the galaxy remained, but was ruled by a sadistic version of Svienenkoff, who wished to dominate the universe. His plan was to elimenate all current threats to him (the Galactic Republic, the Armainian Empire, the Hypocritical Trees,...) then patiently wait while powering up an experimental device that would span the Universe causing all sentient beings to regress back to nothingness, then construct enough ships to fill the universe and open portals to a random alternate universe, conquer it, and repeat the process forever. To start off the War, The Evil Svienenkoff appointed a team of scientists/hackers to initiate the self destruction system in the Virused parts of the Trees, causing the trees entire galaxy to superheat into plasma. The Evil Svienenkoff used gravity bombs to shape the plasma galaxy into a giant flying pig emblem.

Meanwhile, the real Svienenkoff stopped eating or sleeping while he worked to find a way back to the original universe and stop the Evil Svienenkoff. His apperant lack of interest in governing problems resulted in support of the Second Idealist Assemblege which showed signs of starting a civil war within the Empire. Corpral Tuskini (Svienenkoff's second in command) began a program to develop ways to power Illogical Logic dependant technology without Illogical Logic. The Program began to show success and helped quell the tension origninating from the Second Idealist Assemblege

The Evil Svienenkoff then began an epic War with the Galactic republic. Through the war, The Evil Flying Pig Empire developed horrible weapons of destruction, one of which was a grenade sized device that used dimentional shifting, one-way portal, and Space-Time Scalupul technology to open portals at everypoint in the universe and begin a Space-Time rip that could destroy the universe. The Evil Svienenkoff began launching these devices outside Space-Time into random alternate universes, destroying more than 148.

The War still wages on, and Svienenkoff is still trying to find a way back.......

(Up to date, but still to be Continued)